My father: A true master - A dedication

When, two days before his death, my father asked my brothers and me to speak at his funeral, I immediately knew what I wanted to tell others about him. 

The thing that I always appreciated the most about him was his ability to let go, to show trust in us, and to ultimately give us the freedom and the confidence to find our own path.

He gave us the freedom we needed to find our own way, and he was convinced that we would learn and grow with everything that we would encounter, as long as we stayed connected with our inner force.

I remember when I was a little girl of about 8 years, a protestant dominee came to visit our home for a deep conversation about the church. The dominee asked our parents whether we were brought up in the right religion. My father answered respectfully that his children were brought up in freedom, and that we were free to choose our own belief or religion. I remember I felt so proud of him! Freedom and trust. That’s what I loved about him.

And this is how it always went.

My father was always there to give support, bring us back to the real questions and encourage us to find answers. He welcomed every important decision or change in our lives with trust and support, without judgement and with an effort to point us to our inner force.

The farewell of my father was beautiful. I feel very grateful that we were able, despite the long distance between our homes, to say goodbye so closely.

On Sunday morning we received a phone call from my brother, telling us that we had better come as quickly as possible to the place where my father was hospitalized in The Netherlands.

That same day, at 12 o’clock at night, we snuck into his room, very quietly as not to wake him up. But he immediately moved his head from the pillows, raised one hand and said: “Hello!!”

He had been waiting for us, my daughter and me. We gave him a big loving hug and he said: “I am so happy you are here! Now I’ve seen all of you. 

In this moment he was loving, very bright and told us about his guide waiting for him to bring him to another place. Don’t you know? She had asked him? But he knew. 

He was full of confidence, trust, peace, and he was ready for what was to come. Every part of his body was hurting, he said, and he was ready to go. I hold his hand and said: “it’s okay dad, we came to wish you a loving and beautiful journey.” 

After one and a half hours of talking, loving and laughing we said goodbye with a long loving hug and kisses.

It was good.

My father told us that he did not want a sad funeral - he preferred joy, confident that he would be received in love after this life.

He died the next day.

We were grateful, knowing that he had died so peacefully and confident.

We’ve learned from him how to let go in a loving way, knowing that he will find his own path. 

I found these sentences and I would like to share them as a dedication to my father, and as an inspiration about what true leadership could be.

A true master stands beside you in compassion;

someone who lets others know their worth

making you aware of your inner force

without must nor any form of imposture.

A true master teaches you to believe in yourself

always pointing you to the path to your own wisdom

knowing that all the good will start from there.

A true master gives you power, with no unnecessary interfering

bringing you back to your inner resources

Thank you dad!